


Walk in the Rain

by Zetal (Rodinia)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, Rain, Sam Can Be Frustrating, Season 4 AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-21
Updated: 2016-07-28
Packaged: 2018-05-28 03:00:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 18,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6312706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rodinia/pseuds/Zetal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam Winchester.  The boy with the demon blood.  The abomination who would destroy the world if Dean couldn't save him.</p><p>That's not what Castiel saw when he pulled a soul out of hell.  That's not the man Castiel met in a motel room on a human holiday based on a demon's lore.</p><p>Castiel wants to understand.  Heaven tells him to protect Dean and ignore Sam.  He knows he can't do both.  Figuring out the riddle of Sam Winchester will help Castiel do his job.  That's what he tells himself, what he tells Heaven when they ask him why he's paying Sam any attention at all.</p><p>It may have been true at first, but everything can change.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Wall Fell Down

“Cas! Cas, dammit, we need you.”

Castiel may not have thought much of the way Dean spoke to him, but he could also feel the emotion behind it, and he knew that it was not a lack of respect. If anything, it showed that Dean did respect him enough to make demands of him. His brothers and sisters didn’t understand that, and thought that Cas was soft and lacking in self-respect.

When Castiel arrived, he found Sam digging frantically through rubble, and he could sense Dean buried underneath, slowly suffocating. “Back away, Sam.”

Another thing the Host didn’t understand about Castiel was why he paid any attention at all to the younger brother. The boy with the demon blood. He’d tried to tell them what he'd felt when he touched Dean's soul - how could their precious Righteous Man love an abomination that strongly, even after what Dean had become in Hell? He'd tried to make them see what he saw the day he met Sam, the day he took his hand in greeting, the day he decided he’d been correct all along that Sam deserved Castiel’s attention and protection every bit as much as Dean – and that he needed it more. They hadn’t understood that he meant it, that he wasn’t just making excuses for his own failing of being too fond of humans.

Sam shot an incredulous look at Castiel, but once he realized who it was, he scrambled to obey quickly. As soon as Sam was off the rubble pile, Castiel blasted it with his grace, blowing chunks of rock and wood and dirt off until Dean was able to pull himself up, coughing. “You okay, Sammy?” Dean asked.

Sam huffed. “Says the one who got buried under the rubble. I’m fine. Thank you, Castiel.”

Castiel went to Dean and pulled him out of the remaining rubble. “Are you injured, Dean?”

Dean waved a hand. “Bruises and some scrapes, feels like I inhaled a baseball field, but nothing you need to bother with. Now that I can breathe again.”

Castiel raised an eyebrow and reached forward, touching Dean’s temple. Sure enough, he’d inhaled a good deal of dust, which Castiel removed from his lungs. He turned away, looking to Sam. “Are you hurt at all?”

“Don’t worry about me,” Sam said. “Dean got the worst of this one.”

Castiel wasn’t quite sure he believed that, but Sam didn’t appear to be seriously injured and he was breathing fine, so he nodded. “What happened?”

“Ran into some demons, they brought down the wall on us,” Dean said. “I was able to knock Sam out of the worst of it, but couldn’t get out of the way myself.”

“You should’ve let me take it, Dean,” Sam said. “I’m the one they were after.”

“You’re also the one with the sasquatch strength and the giant arms,” Dean grumped. “If one of us had to dig through rubble because Cas was busy, better you than me.” Sam didn’t respond to that, just withdrawing into himself. “Anyway, we’re both fine, so in the end, doesn’t matter, right?”

“If you’re both all right, then I should go.” Castiel took off, as always running through his interaction with the Winchesters and trying to understand what had just happened. He was certain there was something he was missing about them, something that meant he wasn’t performing his job as well as he should, but he could never quite figure out where he was going wrong.


	2. Grey Areas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel calls on the Winchesters to protect a seal and learns something about Sam that disturbs him greatly.

Castiel dropped in on the Winchesters to call on them to protect a seal nearby. A spirit was terrorizing a family, and the daughter was special. When he arrived, the brothers were in the middle of an argument.

“…think he would’ve come?” Sam was saying when Castiel was able to hear.

“If he knows anything about doing his freakin’ job, he would’ve, bad things happening to you are how we got into this whole mess,” Dean muttered as he stitched up a cut on Sam’s back.

Castiel quickly examined both brothers. Sam was thoroughly battered and had several long cuts across his back, while Dean had a sprained ankle and some deep gashes across his chest and arms. “What happened to the two of you?”

Dean jumped, and Sam cried out as the floss pulled with Dean’s movements. “God damn, Cas, don’t do that!” Dean said. “Sammy, you all right?”

“Just… get the stitches over with,” Sam said through shallow breaths. “So I can get yours before I pass out again.”

“Right. Sorry,” Dean said. He checked his work, smoothing out what he could before resuming his work. “Wendigo. Went for Sam first, I distracted it, but not long enough. Got our asses saved by the Collins siblings of all people, couldn't believe it when they showed up. Sam lost a lot of blood, Tommy had to help me carry his gigantor ass out of the lair.”

“I’m glad they were there, then,” Castiel said. He reached out with his grace to make sure Sam wasn’t in danger of death anymore. His blood loss was dangerous, though probably not critical. However, he needed to stay conscious. Castiel could help with that, blunting the pain Sam was in and fixing a couple spots of internal bleeding that Dean was unable to patch up. “Sam, I can’t do anything about the blood loss. I’m sorry.”

Sam looked rather surprised. “Not a problem, Castiel. Thanks for doing whatever you did.”

“Hey, Cas,” Dean said as he finished stitching the first stripe. “This one wasn’t Apocalypse related so I get why you can’t do a full healing, even if I think it’s stupid. But if Sammy’d called for help, would you have come?”

Castiel gave Dean a puzzled look. “Do you really feel the need to ask that?”

Sam sighed. “So why are you here? You didn’t know we were hurt…”

“No. There’s a seal in danger only a few towns away. A spirit is threatening a family that includes a young girl who has grace within her,” Castiel said.

“How does that work?” Dean asked.

“Similar to how Sam has demon blood," Castiel said, and Sam flinched a little. "An angel cut away a small piece of her grace and fused it to the infant’s soul. If her blood is spilled on the next full moon, which happens to be her tenth birthday, it breaks a seal.”

“Blood spilled as in the girl dies? Or does a broken nose count?” Dean asked. Sam buried his head in his arms as Dean started working on the second scratch.

“She must be attacked with the intent of drawing blood, and produce a significant amount,” Castiel said. “Not quite bleeding to death, but… once again, Sam’s current condition would be approximately the amount required, and since she is a child and not an extremely healthy and active person to start with, she would be in far more serious condition.”

Sam muttered something that sounded like “At least I’m good for something,” but with his face buried, Castiel couldn't be sure.

Dean swatted Sam on the arm. "Okay. Why'd the angel give her grace anyway?"

"I have no idea," Castiel said. "I'm sure there was a reason for it, but they had no reason to tell me what it was." Castiel gave them the rest of the information he had about the seal, and Dean promised that he and Sam would check it out as soon as possible.

 

Once the seal was safe, Castiel dropped by again. “Good work. Are you injured?”

Dean shook his head. “I’m good. Sammy?”

“Nothing from this fight, aside from some bruises,” Sam said. He grinned at Dean. “Think maybe the next ghost could _not_ try to strangle me, for once?”

“What about your injuries from the wendigo? Is everything healing well?” Castiel asked.

Sam shrugged. “Not like you can do anything about it if they’re not, the wendigo fight was all us.”

“No, but ordinarily you’d have taken a day or two off to replace your lost blood and give your stitched wounds time to heal enough that you wouldn’t reopen them,” Castiel said. “Instead I threw you straight into another fight. It’s a… grey area.”

“Don’t get yourself into trouble on my account, I’ve fought harder fights with worse,” Sam said. “I’ll be fine.”

Dean glared at Sam. “That’s what you said after that wall fell on us. I saw the blood on your jeans and the way you were limping for two days.”

“It wasn’t that bad,” Sam said. “Some cuts and a rolled ankle. Not worth bugging Castiel for.”

Castiel looked at Sam in great confusion. “I asked if you were all right. The ankle is something you should have mentioned; you and Dean need your mobility. I don’t know about the cuts, but if there was enough blood on your clothing for Dean to notice…”

“Yeah, well, kinda late now,” Sam said. “Do you want me to call you for every demon-related paper cut?”

“A paper cut isn’t dangerous. An ankle injury that makes you limp is.” Castiel was beginning to suspect something he didn’t like. “Sam, why did you not call me when you were badly injured and at risk of dying?”

“Why should I? It wasn’t demons or seal-related… and I’m not Dean,” Sam added, his voice just barely above a whisper.

Castiel looked helplessly at Dean. “I owe you an apology for snapping at you when you asked. Sam, if you call for me, I will come. If you are injured and I am permitted to, I will heal you – but I need you to tell me when you’re hurt. Sometimes it’s obvious, but you are strong-willed and extremely tolerant of pain. You can hide injuries better than any human I’ve ever worked with. Dean may be the one Heaven has placed under my care, but they cannot and will not stop me from placing you under my care as well. You certainly deserve an angel’s protection.”

Sam blinked a couple times, occasionally opening his mouth only to close it again before eventually speaking. “Castiel, I mean it, don’t get yourself in trouble on my account. I know what you guys think…”

“Others, perhaps,” Castiel said. “It took me one conversation with you to realize the good man you have always been is not an act or a trick. You’re not hiding until the time is right. You may be the boy with the demon blood, but you are not the abomination that is supposed to have made you. You’ve done a much better job fighting than anyone could ever have expected of you. Part of that is Dean, but most of it is you.”

“Huh?” Dean said. “Sam’s the one who’s fighting.”

“And you are the one who pulled him back when he was on the road to giving in,” Castiel said. “You’re the example he sets for himself, the person he wants the approval of. It’s no coincidence that it took death ripping the two of you apart for Lilith to even begin this fight, or for Ruby to have a chance at leading Sam into using his powers.”

Now Sam and Dean were both staring at him in confusion. Castiel didn’t understand why they didn’t get this. They had to know what they meant to each other, didn’t they? “From the second I first laid grace on you in Hell, Dean, I knew that in order to do my job properly I couldn’t exclude Sam from my mission. I’d suspected as much from the time you made your deal. And then, when I actually met you, Sam, I knew that you should have been included from the time Heaven gave me the order. I know the past few months have been difficult on you both, but I have faith that in time you will fix what’s gone wrong and get back to what you once were. What you should be. So inseparable that even Heaven cannot come between you.”

If anything, the confusion was deeper now. Eventually, Sam turned to sit on the bed. “I’ll… keep that in mind,” he said slowly, and Castiel thought he could hear Sam fighting to believe it as he departed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know why, but I can't shake the headcanon of the Collins siblings from "Black Water Ridge" becoming a hunting team themselves. Even knowing Tommy's eventual canon fate.


	3. Does it Ever Rain in Heaven?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas checks in with Sam, because Dean is occupied. They have a nice long chat about rain and angels and Sam needing a dictionary to understand what "fine" actually means.

The next time Castiel dropped in to see the Winchesters, they were separated. Dean was at a bar, well on his way to inebriation. Castiel chose to go to Sam. Sam was out walking in the rain, for reasons that escaped Castiel. He supposed he could ask. “Hello, Sam.”

Sam stopped abruptly. “Castiel? Hey. Uh, Dean’s…”

“Not in a fit state for me to speak to,” Castiel said. “I’m uncertain he would even remember if I did.”

Sam chuckled. It was the first time Castiel could remember seeing Sam smile since they had first met each other. “He probably would, he hasn’t been at the bar long enough to be anywhere near drunk enough for memory loss yet. So, uh, what can we do for you? Is there a seal in danger?”

“No. I haven’t spoken to either of you in a couple weeks, haven’t heard anything from either of you. I thought I’d come check in.”

Sam’s eyebrows shot up, and Castiel looked at him curiously. “Huh. Well, we’re fine. Really, not my definition of fine. We’ve taken our share of bruises and bangs, but nothing life-threatening or relevant to your mission. Dean’s at the bar to celebrate a successful hunt where neither of us ended up needing more than a band-aid, and I was at the library because I didn’t feel like getting drunk or sitting in the motel room.”

“And now you’re walking back?”

“Yeah.” Sam looked up at the rain, coloring slightly. “I didn’t check any weather reports, I wasn’t expecting rain. And Dean has the car.”

“And you do not wish to interrupt his drinking.”

“Exactly.” Sam shrugged and started walking again. “I don’t mind, really. It’s not like it’s snowing or so windy I can barely stand or a hundred and five degrees out, and I’ve had to walk through all of those.”

“I see.” Castiel fell into step beside Sam. He couldn’t say why, but it felt important that he not just depart. It didn’t hurt that he didn’t particularly want to leave.

“Does it ever rain in Heaven?”

The question seemingly came from nowhere, and Castiel certainly didn’t understand why Sam would ask such a thing. “In some places. When a soul comes to Heaven, their resting place becomes whatever they make of it. For some, this includes rain; for others, not. It does not rain in the parts of Heaven where the angels work.”

“Huh.” Sam wrapped his jacket a little more tightly around himself. “I’ve always liked the rain. One of my earliest memories is waking up in the Impala because of a thunderstorm. Dean told me not to be scared, that he wouldn’t let anything hurt me, so I listened hard as I fell back to sleep. When I was a little older, I read somewhere that rain was the tears of angels as they watched over us.” Castiel didn’t even have the chance to begin to correct him when Sam added, “Even then I knew that was bullshit, but it was a nice thought, you know? And, well… I still feel safe in the rain. Dean, angels, I don’t know why, but I always have liked rain. Even when it’s making salt-and-burns difficult.”

Castiel tipped his head, examining Sam. “Is that why you’re out here? You feel safer here than in the motel room?”

Sam ducked his head, wet hair flopping into his face. “That’s not really how it works, I don’t actually have to be in the rain for it to bring back that feeling of safety and protection. I guess that is why I’m taking the long way back, I was gonna get soaked whether I walked the ten minutes or a longer version, so why not? It’s not cold enough that I’m likely to get sick from it.”

“Sickness is caused by toxins or microorganisms, not by weather patterns,” Castiel said, and Sam chuckled slightly.

“Yeah, that’s true, but humans are kinda fragile, you know?” Castiel did know. He just didn’t see the relevance. “If our bodies have to fight the cold, it leaves less energy for fighting the bugs. Especially when you have rapidly changing weather, like going from a warm house to a cold outside or something.”

That made sense of a sort at least. “How do you know if it is cold enough to put you at risk?”

Sam shrugged. “You don’t, really, but it’s still pretty warm. A hot shower and some dry clothes and I’ll be fine.”

“By whose definition?” It was a very important distinction, Castiel had learned. Sam’s definition of fine was a strange one.

“Well, Dean’s not gonna yell at you, if that’s what you mean,” Sam said, and Castiel came to a stop. “What?”

Castiel stared at Sam in disbelief as the human came to a stop as well. He did not understand this human at all. Did Sam really believe that Castiel considered him so unimportant? “Dean yells at me all the time with very little provocation. Dean yelling was not at all my concern.”

Sam blinked. “Then what?”

“You’ve told me you were fine with your mobility impaired, or while you were on the verge of unconsciousness from blood loss, and I don’t even know what else before I started to notice something was wrong. Is it so hard to understand that I believe you would tell me you were fine despite being ill?” Castiel stared up at Sam, who looked like he was about to try to blow this off. “I can’t heal you if you get sick from walking in the rain, but since I’m here, there’s no reason I can’t take you to your room so that you don’t get ill in the first place.”

Sam snorted. “What am I, Dean? You’re an angel, you have better things to do than to protect me from the fact that I don’t have the sense to come in out of the rain. But, seriously, Castiel. I don’t get sick often, it’s gonna take more than some rain to knock me out.”

“Sam, why do you always assume that I have better things to do than to watch over you? Or that Dean is the only one important to me? Watching over you and your brother is the most important duty I have, and nothing is more important to a soldier than duty.”

“That’s not… I didn’t mean…” Sam ran a hand through his hair. “That’s actually not what this is about. I just meant that you know as well as I do Dean calls you for trivial crap sometimes, and getting a lift home from the library to avoid a little cold – weather, not sickness – is trivial crap. I know if I’m in serious trouble and I call for you, you’ll come help me if you can. If I get sick here, it’s not because of the rain, I swear. I’ve walked through colder than this a lot.”

“I see.” Castiel wasn’t entirely certain he trusted that, but he wouldn’t push. “What were you doing at the library?”

“Just killing time, reading… actually, reading about angels,” Sam said. “I’m pretty sure it was at least half bullshit, but it was still interesting.”

Castiel blinked. He’d expected to hear Sam was reading, but to hear he was curious enough about angels, still, to choose them over whatever else the library had to offer was somewhat astonishing. “Angels? What did you learn?”

“Well, like I said, some of it’s a load of crap,” Sam said, ducking his head again. “There was a section about Uriel describing him as an archangel and talking about how he was a friend to humanity. Admittedly I’ve only spoken with him twice, but…”

“Uriel does not care for humanity as God wishes angels to,” Castiel said. “Still, he will follow orders and do what must be done. He was the one sent to Noah, and he personally carried John the Baptist to safety during Herod’s slaughter of firstborn.”

“Yeah, but something tells me he did _not_ in fact have children who drowned during the Flood,” Sam said. “Orders are one thing, but…”

Castiel blinked again, unable to stop the laughter from spilling out. “Uriel? Nephilim? Before the Flood, there was a betting pool for which angel would be the last of our garrison to succumb to that temptation. It was close, but Uriel was the most popular choice.”

“Yeah, that’s more the Uriel I’ve met,” Sam agreed. “Um, what else… I’m going to assume that everything they said about your true forms was guesswork or artistic interpretation, given what happened to Pamela. Although there was a chapter devoted to angels’ wings as they manifest on our plane of existence. Which is extremely rare, it said.”

“Yes, for an angel to display his wings is… not something to happen lightly,” Castiel said. “What did it say about them?”

“Well, what the books agreed on was that they’re big, beautiful, and incredibly powerful. One source described them as sort of compressed energy, while the other two described them as more like a bird’s wings, including feathers. Of course they couldn’t agree on the feathers, one said that every angel has pure white feathers while the other said that an angel’s wings are as varied as the angels who they belong to.”

“That last source is correct, the only angel with pure white wings is Michael. Lucifer’s were close, white that shaded into a shining silver, but Hell might have changed his wings. Nothing on Heaven or Earth could, but Hell’s corruption…” Castiel shook his head. “He was so beautiful. A shame that beauty masked such a cruel heart.”

“So… where’d we come up with the guy with cloven hooves and a tail and pitchfork?” Sam asked. “I know, you probably don’t know, I’m just thinking out loud.”

“You humans come up with the strangest ideas about supernatural creatures sometimes,” Castiel said. “Before today my personal favorite was the misunderstanding of haloes, but Uriel having Nephilim may have replaced that.”

“Misunderstanding of haloes?” Sam asked.

“The ridiculous glowing circles above angels’ heads in much of your art.”

“No, I know what we depict haloes as,” Sam said. “What are they really?”

“They’re a glow that emanates from the whole body. Under most circumstances, when we’re in vessels, we hide them. Humans tend to react poorly when someone comes at them glowing, and we have enough trouble with dealing with humans. I am… particularly bad at it, though I would argue I’m better than Uriel. You should have seen him and Noah when they got wound up,” Castiel said.

“Sounds like time to flee the planet,” Sam said, and Castiel couldn’t disagree with that. “Are they like your wings, unique to each angel, or all the same?”

“They’re… unique isn’t quite the right word, but they are widely varied. It’s like human eye color, there’s a wide range but not necessarily unique. And some colors are more common than others.” Castiel considered Sam for a moment, then decided Sam probably would never ask but would be interested. “Mine is unusual. Remind me sometime where I wouldn’t draw attention and I’ll show you, if you’d like.”

“It’s not like wings in that regard then?” But Castiel was right, he could see the eagerness lighting Sam’s face.

“No, as I said, we hide our haloes more to avoid drawing undue attention or fear. We hide our wings because… well, there are several reasons,” Castiel said.

“And you hide your true forms because you don’t want to melt our eyes,” Sam said. “I take it haloes don’t do that. Obviously the long white robes are just silly, a way of making them distinctive from humans in art. What about the harps and horns?”

“Well, every messenger carries a horn, of course. And some of the choir do have harps, or flutes, or any other instrument you can think of. The Horn of Gabriel is one of Heaven’s most powerful artifacts, even without Gabriel up there to blow it.”

“Where’s Gabriel?”

Castiel shrugged. “The last I heard, he was in Norway. But that was several hundred years ago, and he was planning on leaving to go elsewhere. I have no idea where he ended up. I’m fairly certain he’s on Earth somewhere, but beyond that, I can’t say.”

“So… most of the rest of what I read, I have no way of knowing how accurate or not it was, it was about specific angels, ones I’ve never met. Although given Uriel’s, I’m guessing I’d have to dig through a lot of misinformation to get to the parts that are true.”

“Most likely,” Castiel said. “I shudder to think what my writeup would say about me. The few times I’ve had direct contact with humans, it’s… either not gone well, or was forgotten.”

Sam shrugged. “I looked. One book had, like, one sentence about you, and you were on a list of the angels under the command of Anael.”

“That at least is true,” Castiel said. “Or at least, was for a very long time. Except that we called her Anna. She was lost to Heaven about twenty years ago. I’m curious, what did it say?”

“It wasn’t much. Just that you’re the angel of Thursday.” Castiel closed his eyes momentarily, trying to convince himself that it could have been much, much worse. “Not true?”

“That…” Castiel shook his head. “The archangels and seraphs never assigned me such a title or any kind of responsibility to do with a particular day of the week. That particular moniker was hung on me by one of my brothers in the garrison, when he noticed that every time I got sent to Earth, it was Thursday. At first, it was coincidence, but the nickname spread, and Anna had a strange sense of humor. She would hold off on passing along orders, just to make sure I was sent to Earth on a Thursday."

Sam couldn't help the laughter. "Okay, yeah, I can see where you'd prefer humans not know that one. Although... I have to point out you're doing it yourself, now, you could have come yesterday or tomorrow."

"I know. Coincidence, I promise. I refuse to avoid Thursdays just because of a silly nickname." Castiel noticed Sam shiver a little as the wind picked up. “We should get moving again. You look like you’re getting cold.”

“Oh gosh, how long have we been standing here?” Sam asked, looking around in surprise. “If Dean beats me back, he’s gonna freak.”

“I can…”

“No, it’s fine, I don’t mind walking,” Sam said. “It’s only a few more blocks. If it weren’t for the rain, you could see it from here.” Sam started walking, and Castiel once again walked with him. “What’s it like in Heaven for angels? If that’s something you can tell me, I mean, don’t…”

Castiel considered how to explain it. “For angels, it’s… functional. Of course, the light of Heaven is everywhere, and different parts are different to meet the needs of the angels who use them. My garrison’s station is heavily focused on training simulations, monitors for demonic activity or other things that we would need to be aware of, things that you would find on a military base anywhere. The scribes have a much different environment. Many angels take every opportunity they get to leave, me among them. We go exploring the humans’ heavens, not interfering of course, simply observing.”

“Yeah?” Sam was smiling. “Where’s your favorite that you’ve been?”

“There’s an autistic man who drowned in his bathtub. His Heaven is a peaceful Thursday afternoon that he spent kite-flying, only in Heaven, it never ends.” Castiel considered briefly before continuing. “I visited yours, when you were there.”

“Mine? When was I ever in Heaven?” Sam asked, stopping suddenly.

Castiel stopped and turned back to face Sam. “When Jake Talley stabbed you. When Dean sold his soul.”

Sam looked very puzzled. “I figured I went to Hell. How did the demons get my soul out of Heaven?”

“Heaven abides by the rules… Dean sold his soul for you, so Heaven no longer had the highest claim on your soul. We had to let you go.” A strong gust whipped Castiel’s coat out, and he reached out to gently push Sam to move again. “There were many surprised angels when your Reaper brought you in. That’s why I came to your Heaven, to try to understand how it had happened.”

“And did you?” Sam asked, an oddly resigned note in his voice.

That was a very complicated question. “I… not then, no. Based on what you saw, I knew it was in part because of Dean’s love for you and yours for him. I thought that was all there was, you hadn’t done anything so irredeemable that separating you and Dean for eternity was justified, and because we’re calling on Dean to do Heaven’s work, it would take something truly spectacular – or another demon deal – for him to end up in Hell.”

Sam took a while to digest that. “So, if Dean makes another deal… he condemns us both?”

“Perhaps, perhaps not. That decision is not for the angels to make. But I said I didn’t understand, then," Castiel reminded Sam. "That is part of it, but there’s more to your redemption than your attachment to Dean. The demon blood within you has made it harder for you to earn salvation than for most people, but it is possible for you. And I believe that with a little help from those you love and those who love you, you will.”

They had reached the room by then, and Sam dug the key out of his pocket. “Thanks for walking with me, and for putting up with my curiosity. You gonna stick around until Dean gets here, make sure he’s okay?”

“Is there a reason I shouldn’t trust your word?” Castiel asked with a head tilt. “You would lie to me about yourself, you have lied to me about yourself. But I find it difficult to believe that you wouldn’t tell me if something were wrong with Dean.”

“Not what I meant, just… Dean’s the one who’s your actual charge, thought you might like to see him is all.”

“If I wish to see him, I can find him. Given his current occupation, I don’t think I do. Your brother is difficult enough to communicate with when he’s in full control of his brain,” Castiel explained. Sam laughed. “If I may, though, I would like to check to make sure you won’t get sick. I’ll feel much better for knowing.”

Sam ducked his head. “You’re never going to forgive me for not telling you about my ankle, are you. Go ahead, if I have some warning I can stock up on things that’ll help me through it.”

“You’re forgiven, Sam,” Castiel said. “It will be a while before I trust you not to lie to me about your own pain, but you are forgiven.” He reached up, touching his fingers to Sam’s temple. The contact wasn’t necessary for a simple check, but he found that he wanted to. “Your microorganism levels are well within acceptable range and your defenses are strong. You won’t get sick.”

“Good to know. Thanks, Cas.” Sam went into the room, and as Castiel flew off, he realized that this was the first time Sam had ever used the nickname in his hearing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uriel being sent to Noah and carrying John the Baptist to safety is actual Christian lore. It amuses me greatly. Some day, I want to write Uriel and Noah fic.
> 
> (If you're curious, Castiel was the other popular choice for last to have Nephilim. Uriel hated humans. Cas couldn't figure out how to talk to them and respected them too much to take advantage of them.)


	4. Demon Nest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Once again, the Winchesters are in life-threatening danger. Cas bails them out.

A few days later, Castiel heard a call. From Sam, which surprised him. When he arrived, though, the pleasure he’d felt dissipated. Dean was unconscious, bleeding profusely from a gunshot wound, and Sam was pinned to the ground with a metal bar through his calf. He went to Dean first, since he was the one near death. While he checked him over for additional injuries, he asked, “What on earth happened and why didn’t you call for me sooner?”

“I called as soon as Dean was shot,” Sam protested. “We were gonna call you on my leg once we’d finished off the demons, we were almost done when this happened, but I guess we missed one.”

“Demons did this?” That made things simpler. He poured his grace into Dean, flooding him with healing energy that woke him up. “Lie still.” He wasn’t surprised in the least when Dean ignored him, getting to his feet and going over to Sam.

“The hell are you waiting for?” Dean asked as Cas followed him. “Metal bar through the leg, you don’t think that’s important?”

“Sam is conscious and able to hold a conversation. You’re suffering from severe blood loss and were still bleeding.” Cas grabbed the metal bar, and it disappeared. Sam looked up in surprise and gratitude as Cas squatted beside him to heal him. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but bad things happen when one of you two die.”

Sam laughed, getting carefully to his feet. “I can deal with pain, Dean. Basic triage: treat the dying if you can save them, then the merely wounded. Cas, thank you for the healing.”

“Demonic activity or not, I can’t heal blood loss, only you or a proper hospital can do that,” Cas said. “Dean, you need to rest and replenish your liquids and nutrients.” Dean did his usual grumbling, so Cas turned his attention back to Sam. “Are you all right? Did I miss anything?”

“Yeah, Cas… well, I think I’ve got a couple bruises, but that’s not a problem. Not sure I’d know who I am if I didn’t have some bruising or scrapes or something somewhere.” That got both Cas and Dean staring at Sam like he’d grown a second head. “What? It’s this new policy I’m trying out where I don’t lie to Cas about my injuries because it drives him crazy.”

“How come you’re not askin’ me if you missed anything?” Dean grumbled.

“Because if I had, you would have told me about it as soon as you knew Sam was all right,” Cas said, not even bothering to look away from Sam. “Were you able to tell what the demons were after, or was killing the two of you the entire point of the attack?”

“Nah, I don’t think they even knew who we were until Sammy pulled that knife he took off Ruby,” Dean said. “We’d been tracking some demonic omens, they were using that office building there as a nest or something. We picked this fight.”

“Still, if they’re gathering in a pack like this, they’ve gotta be up to something,” Sam added. “We need to get in there and see what we can find.”

“What about the demon who shot Dean? Did it get away, or were you able to take it out?”

“It got away,” Sam said, hanging his head a little. “Didn’t want to throw this knife, it’s too important to lose, and with my leg pinned I couldn’t get to my gun in time.”

“Oh, what, you’ll throw your soul under the bus to get revenge for me, but that knife you took from your demon whore’s too important to lose for a little vengeance? I see how it is,” Dean complained. Cas had to admit he was a little surprised at Sam’s priorities there as well, though he’d never have expressed it the way Dean did.

“I’ll get the demon while you two check out the building,” Cas offered, wanting to get away from the impending fight. He took off as he heard Sam explaining that where the knife had come from had nothing to do with things.


	5. Salt and Burn

It was raining again the next time Castiel dropped by. “Hello, Dean.”

Dean jumped, splashing as he came down in a puddle. “Cas, what the hell. What’s up?”

One of these days, Castiel would manage to come in and not scare Dean, he hoped. In the meantime, there were other concerns. “Why are you standing around in the rain?”

“Because I like being wet and miserable,” Dean said. “Because Sammy’s down there, getting set up for this summoning ritual we need to do to call the spirit we’re hunting, and I’m up here to warn him if someone comes by.”

Castiel didn't understand. "Why can't you just... salt and burn?"

Dean rolled his eyes. "Her corpse was ripped apart by wild animals. There's no way to track them, and the chances of getting them all... so Brainiac found a way to make her real enough to burn directly. Pain in the ass, but it should work."

“Dean? Someone there?” Sam’s voice came floating up.

“Nah, it’s just Cas,” Dean called down. “We’re good, keep working.”

“Almost done,” Sam shouted back. “Hey, Cas.”

“Hello, Sam,” Castiel called down.

“Are we quite done drawing attention to ourselves?” Dean asked.

“No, I’m about to start the ritual, get down here.”

Dean turned to Cas. “Save us sliding around in the mud?”

Sam’s words from their walk through the rain came back to him, and he wondered what made the brothers so different. Still, he reached out and put two fingers to Dean’s shoulder, taking them down to the bottom. Sam rolled his eyes when he saw them. “Okay, Dean, your spot’s marked. Cas, if I’d known you were coming I’d have set it up for you, but…”

“It’s quite all right. I should be okay to not interfere out here.”

“You don’t have to stand out in the rain if you don’t want to, there’s plenty of room in the back, just stay outside the chalk lines,” Sam offered.

“I don’t mind the rain,” Cas said with a faint smile. “If I’m out here I can warn you of human interlopers.”

“Suit yourself,” Dean said. “Sammy, let’s get this show on the road, huh?”

Sam began chanting, Dean standing ready with the rock salt gun and lighter. The wind picked up as Sam spoke, and the rain whipped into the cave. The chant changed from Latin to Greek, and Castiel recognized Sam’s change in familiarity from the way his voice lost a bit of the confident cadence and he stumbled over a word or two. The chant changed once more, this time to English. “Sarah Barton, come to me!”

A spirit appeared, taking the form of a woman in a long gown. She lunged at Sam, only to find herself stopped. Castiel looked down, noticing the salt circle. Dean and Sam both picked up torches, lighting them and touching them to a pool of liquid inside. The ghost went up in flames, screaming as it burned. When the flames died, the spirit was gone.

“Well, that was fun,” Dean snarked. “Let’s do this every time.”

“Ugh, no,” Sam said, dispersing the salt circle. “Much rather salt and burn bones than figure out this crap again. I’m just glad I was able to get the Greek part close enough to right to make this work.”

“If you’d like, I can help you learn Greek,” Castiel offered.

Sam looked up from where he was smearing chalk. “Seriously? That would be awesome, Cas. And I guess with the Apocalypse to worry about, practical, wasn’t Revelation originally written in Greek?”

“Yes. If all goes well, you’ll never need to know what Revelation says, but if it comes to it…” Cas shivered.

“Are you two nerds done yet? I for one would like to get the hell out of here,” Dean said.


	6. Checking In

As an angel, Castiel could, of course, just download knowledge of whatever language he wanted into Sam’s brain. But that would defeat half the purpose of him offering, and he was able to admit that to himself at least. He’d offered so that he would have an excuse to visit Sam frequently.

Of course, he still told Sam he could. It wasn’t a surprise when Sam said he’d let the angel but he preferred to learn the human way, if Cas didn’t mind taking the time to teach him. They did end up using Angel Download for some things – correct pronunciation, quicker vocabulary acquisition – but for several weeks, Castiel visited Sam nearly every day for a Greek lesson.

After missing a day due to an errand for Heaven, Castiel descended quickly to the room where the Winchesters were staying today. He checked the time – it was highly unusual for the Winchesters to be in their room in the middle of the afternoon, and even more unusual for Sam to be in bed.

“Hey, Cas,” Dean whispered. “Sammy got some bad chicken or something last night, spent all night and most of the morning puking. Even if you wake him up I don’t think he’s gonna be able to concentrate on learning.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Castiel murmured, very carefully placing two fingers to Sam’s head to check him for anything Dean wasn’t already aware of. There wasn’t anything. “How long will he be sick?”

“Dunno, food poisoning usually only lasts a day or two but Sammy’s always been the kind to get sick hard when he does get around to getting sick. Sucks, but that’s Sam. Of course, he doesn’t make it any easier on himself when he insists on getting back to work before he’s fully recovered and then relapsing. Not a problem with food poisoning, but with flu or something…” Dean shook his head fondly. “So how’ve you been? Things go okay yesterday?”

“I’ve been…” Castiel cut off, suddenly realizing he hadn’t truly spoken to Dean in several weeks. He of course heard all about Dean’s activity and mental state from Sam, but he supposed Sam had no reason to talk to Dean about Castiel. “Dean, I apologize, I hadn’t realized how long it had been since we spoke.”

“When you develop an interest in getting drunk and hooking up, come find me.” Cas stared at him quizzically, and after a second Dean choked a little on his beer. “Wait, no, let me try that one again. When you start getting interested in babes and booze, I’m more than happy to teach you everything you need to know. If you wanna come hang out and watch a movie, that’s fine too, but there’s an Apocalypse threatening to happen. You know I’m okay because there’s no way that’s not the first thing out of Sam’s mouth when you come for Greek time if I’m not, I know you’re doing good because I get to hear everything from Sam, no big deal that you’re spending more time with him than me.”

“One of our main topics of conversation is you. Still, I should spend more time with you.” Castiel went back to watching Sam sleep. “Sam talks about me?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t he? You’re, like, our best friend, we talk about you all the time.” Dean shot him a weird look. “There something I need to know about going on between you and Sammy?”

“What do you mean?” Cas finally pulled up a chair; he’d planned on being here for at least an hour, no need to rush off. “Have I been unintentionally rude to him again?”

“No, well, if you have Sam hasn’t said anything about it so not bad enough to where he doesn’t know it’s just a glitch in the human-angel communication interface. Just that you sounded a little bit like a schoolgirl after the hot football player pays some attention to her.”

“I am not a girl, Dean,” Castiel said.

Dean snorted. “No, well, hell if I know what your real form is, but your vessel isn’t a girl. Doesn’t really matter, that was just a metaphor.”

“For what, then? I don’t understand your metaphors most of the time,” Castiel said. Not like Dean didn’t know that.

“Just sayin’ you seem to care a lot about what Sam thinks of you, more than just a friend would,” Dean explained. “If you two are going there, that’s up to you, but since he is my brother I’d kinda like to know about it.”

“Going where? I’m not planning on going anywhere with Sam…” Castiel had a horrible feeling he was missing something a human would find painfully obvious. 

“Oh, for the love of God,” Dean muttered, covering his face with his palm. “Forget I said anything, I’ll ask Sam about it later, and good to know I don’t have to worry about coming back from a bar to find you and Sam have fucked off to Greece or something.”

“Hmm… that might not be a bad idea, although we would certainly tell you we were going and when to expect us back,” Castiel said. “And, of course, invite you along.”

Dean laughed. “Nah, don’t let me crash the nerd date. Don’t know enough Greek to entertain myself and you and Sam would probably want to visit all the historical crap and museums.”

Sam stirred suddenly, and the two men fell silent. Dean went and got the laptop, setting it up to play a movie, and Castiel settled in to divide his attention between the movie full of explosions and the sleeping man.

 

As Dean had predicted, Sam was much better when Castiel came back the next day. “Hey! Dean said you came by yesterday. I’m sorry I wasn’t…”

“You have no need to apologize for being ill,” Castiel interrupted. “It’s good to see you doing better, I must say.”

“Yeah, I’m happy to have recovered so quickly, usually I get hit really hard.” Sam rubbed the back of his neck. “Of course, Dean still won’t let me go anywhere, even though I’m fine. He told me to tell you that you’re not allowed to take me to Greece until he says I’m good to go. What’s that about?”

“Dean said that if you and I were going somewhere, he wanted to know because you’re his brother. This somehow ended up with a hypothetical trip to Greece being planned. Conversations with your brother can be difficult to understand even in retrospect.”

Sam shook his head. “I’m sure I’m missing some context here. It would be kind of neat to see Greece, though. I’ve seen pretty much all of the US, bits of Canada and the occasional trip to Mexico, but I’ve never left the continent.”

“Then I will take you sometime. Dean’s injunction against work doesn’t extend to learning Greek, does it?”

“If it does, screw that,” Sam said with a grin. “Food poisoning didn’t affect my brain except for how tired I was, and I’m not tired now.”

“You’ll tell me…”

Sam answered, in Greek, “If I feel tired or sick, I’ll tell you.”


	7. Blood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a fight with Dean, Sam's calling out to Castiel unconsciously. They have the world's awkwardest conversation about feelings.

It was raining once again when Castiel came to Sam. Sam was standing on the side of the road, looking somewhat lost with his arms wrapped around himself. “Sam? What are you doing out here?”

Sam jumped and spun around. “Cas! What… you’re a little… I’m not sure I can concentrate on learning right now. I’m sorry.”

“I’m not here for a Greek lesson, Sam,” Castiel said, looking carefully over his friend. “I… am not entirely certain why I came. I just had this sense that you needed something.”

Sam flashed a quick and obviously forced smile. “I’m fine, Cas.”

The angel let out a long, exasperated sigh. “Yes. You’re fine. Which is why you’re standing in the rain so upset that your pain is calling out to me. Sam, I thought you had decided to stop lying to me.”

Sam closed his eyes. “This is different, there’s not anything you can do to make it better,” he whispered, eventually.

“I see. Then clearly I’ve misunderstood something.” Castiel pulled away, trying hard to swallow his own pain.

Sam opened his eyes with a complete lack of comprehension. “Huh?”

“It is my understanding that when humans are in mental or emotional distress, talking to a friend can be a comfort to them,” Castiel explained.

“Well, yeah,” Sam said. “That’s right.”

Castiel had been afraid of that. Though he tried, he couldn’t quite keep the hurt out of his voice when he went on, “Then I must have been mistaken in thinking that you had come to see me as a friend.”

Sam’s jaw dropped as he stared at Cas in shock. “No! Wait. I mean… I do see you as a friend, Cas.”

“Then if talking to a friend can be comforting, and I am your friend, it seems to me there is something I can do to help you,” Castiel said.

“It’s… it’s Dean,” Sam said, shoulders slumping in defeat. “We got into a fight, he kicked me out of the car and told me not to come back to the motel until as late as possible.”

That was a shock to Castiel. “Why would he do such a thing?”

Sam gave him a pleading look, but Castiel held his gaze. The hunter dropped his head. “Okay, um, I know you have no reason to believe me and he’s your brother and your friend so you have every reason to believe him, but I swear to you, it’s not true. Uriel told Dean something I left out of my… extracurricular activities… with Ruby. I didn’t tell him I was using her blood as a power-up. Uriel also said I’m back on the demon blood, and now Dean’s mad at me because I won’t admit to it. Please, I don’t know how I can prove it to you, but I’m not.”

“I know.” Castiel reached out, brushing Sam’s arm in the hopes of getting him to look up. “Sam, if you were back on the blood, I would know. I can feel it within you, and you feel cleaner than ever. I’m not quite sure what the base level is, but you’re approaching it, if you’re not there.”

Sam had looked up at first, hope shining from his eyes, but he shut down when Castiel said he could feel it. “I’m sorry. I… why do you even pretend, then?”

“Pretend what? What are you sorry for?”

“You can feel the demon blood within me,” Sam parroted. “So why pretend that being around me doesn’t disgust you?”

“Because it doesn’t,” Castiel said. “Sam, every external pressure on you – demon blood, your purpose in being created, your father’s training – all of that should have combined to make you a remorseless killer, a power-hungry psychopath who cared only for himself and those he could use. And yet, somehow, you’re not a killer. You kill, yes, when something is threatening innocent lives. But you prefer to spare monsters that are no threat to humans. You’re no psychopath, you care about the grey situations and acknowledge that right and wrong aren’t always synonymous with human and monster. Power hungry… perhaps. But not power-obsessed. You’re not looking to be strong for the sake of being strong, you’re looking to be strong to help save your brother, the world, innocent people. I’m aware of what your people say about the road to Hell, but intent does matter. And you are certainly not remorseless. With all of that on you, there has to be something within you pushing back, making you the good man that you are. I know Uriel and I have pretty much killed your faith in angels, but I can feel your faith in our Father. The demon blood, at its current level, is a minor irritation. The strength of your soul, the light of your faith… there is a flood of goodness coming from you, which more than drowns the irritation.”

“Well, at least you believe me about the blood,” Sam said. “Dean doesn’t.”

“I'll talk to him. Hopefully, he still believes me more than he does Uriel. I have no idea why Uriel would lie about that, but it doesn’t matter. Dean should know the truth.” Cas stepped forward and put a hand on Sam’s arm. “You’re very cold.”

“Yeah, it’s a little chilly out,” Sam said.

“Let me take you someplace warm.”

“Where?” Sam let out a soft huff. “I can’t go back to the room yet, I’m too upset with Dean to deal with things there in any kind of rational way. Where am I supposed to go?”

Castiel thought for a bit. “Library? Church? I am an angel, Sam, it’s no harder for me to take you to Athens than it is to take you across the street.”

“Really? Distance doesn’t… never mind. I’ll be okay, Cas, don’t worry about me.” Sam’s shivering, however, proved to Castiel that he was doing the right thing. “This isn’t demonic or seal-related, why do you even care?”

Castiel blinked. “Have I not made it clear that I care for you a great deal? This isn’t just about you and Dean being useful against Lilith and the seals breaking. It hasn’t been for a very long time.”

“Then what is it about? I’m a good student?”

“Well, yes, you are. But that’s not it either.” Castiel tried to figure out how to explain this to Sam when he didn’t really understand it himself. It wouldn’t be easy, he knew that, especially fighting Sam’s lack of belief in his own worth. “It’s… being here, with you, makes me feel… comfortable. Accepted. Even wanted, in a sense; you always seem happy to see me when I come by. I have friends in Heaven, of course, but no one I’ve sought out reasons to spend time with.”

Sam blinked. “I’m not sure I get it. I mean, I do want you around, and you don’t have to make up reasons to come see me, I’d be happy to see you pretty much any time. Why am I different from Dean, or your friends in Heaven?”

“I don’t know. Angels and emotions don’t exactly mix easily. I know that I’ve gone centuries without seeing angel friends, and it doesn’t bother me a bit. Going two days without seeing you sets me on edge. I would blame it on your short lifespan, but I went several weeks without speaking to Dean and didn’t really notice until he pointed it out.”

“Wow, uh… that’s…” Sam trailed off. “If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were a little bit… but that can’t be it.”

Castiel rolled his eyes. “What can’t be it? Because you have difficulty believing a lot of things are true when it comes to me.”

“Cas, do angels love? I mean, beyond the general love for all of God’s creatures?”

That took Castiel aback, but as soon as Sam said it, things made sense. “Not often, but it does happen on occasion. I shouldn’t be surprised that it happened to me. My garrison has always said I’m far too interested in humans for my own good.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Sam asked.

“Sam, I am perfectly happy to answer your questions, but is there any reason we can’t have this conversation somewhere warm?” Castiel asked.

Sam huffed. “You need my permission to fly me somewhere?”

“No. But it is polite to ask, and I would prefer not to use my abilities on you without your permission.”

“Huh. Fine, take us somewhere, just promise to take me back when it’s time, or take me somewhere I can walk back to the room from,” Sam decided.


	8. Chapter 8

Castiel reached out, choosing a small room above a church to take Sam. He dropped Sam off and took off again, returning quickly with some dry clothes for Sam and a blanket. He led Sam to the window, where he pointed out the motel. “When you’re ready to return, I can take you back, or you can walk.”

“Okay.” Sam stripped out of his wet clothes and put on the dry ones Cas had brought. “Thanks for this, I already feel better.”

Castiel wrapped the blanket around Sam anyway. “All right. In answer to your earlier question, while angels were tasked with watching over you humans and asked to love you in a general sense, there are very few angels who live up to God’s intent. Those who do are often accused of being far too interested in humans. Ever since the drowning of the Nephilim, most angels are completely indifferent to humans. Some, like Uriel, dislike them and resent God’s obvious preference for his last creation. Being sent to Earth is often considered a punishment, since it takes us out of Heaven. I always jumped at the chance. It’s a running joke in the garrison, how often other seraphim asked Anna for permission to borrow me to send to Earth. Anna nearly always granted it. That’s actually one reason I was chosen to retrieve Dean, it was thought that the fact that I’ve spent more time on Earth than nearly any other angel in Heaven would be of use.”

“Huh. Why are you so interested in humans?” Sam asked.

“Humans are my Father’s last creation, his favorites, the ones he considers his masterpiece. Humans are works of art. How could I not be interested?” He looked out the window. “And yet, despite the time I’ve spent among humans, I find it difficult to actually communicate with them. You and Dean are the first humans who have actually become my friends.”

“Really? That’s… kind of sad, really,” Sam said. “Dean and I are kind of terrible friends.”

Castiel turned back in surprise. “No, you’re not. You or Dean. Why would you say that?”

Sam shrugged. “We have this tendency to get our friends killed, you know. Or badly hurt at least.”

“That’s because most of your friends are hunters or work within the world, and the life is a dangerous one,” Castiel said. “I am sorry about Pamela. I tried to warn her.”

“I know.”

Talking about Pamela triggered the memory of an old promise Castiel had made Sam, and he concentrated. The room began to glow a soft, deep blue. Sam gasped and looked at Castiel curiously. “I believe I offered once to show you my halo. It seems unlikely to draw undue attention here.”

“It’s… it’s beautiful, Cas,” Sam said as he stared. “This is… I’m honored.”

“I wish I could show you my true form, but you would suffer as Pamela did. Anyway, you had a reason for asking about angels’ ability to love, I assume?” Sam didn’t answer, so Castiel went ahead and put forth a guess. “You think it’s possible that I love you, and that’s why you’re different from my friends among my kind or Dean.”

“It would explain it,” Sam said. “There’s probably a better explanation.”

“Or perhaps you’re correct. It certainly fits the question at hand, and several other puzzles that were on my mind. It’s not unknown for angels to fall in love, and my superiors have always said I have too much heart,” Castiel said.

“You… huh,” Sam said. “Okay. What happens now?”

“That depends a great deal on you. I will continue to look after you and your brother, to do my job in protecting you from harm. Beyond that… I really have no idea what I’m doing, so I don’t know,” Castiel said.

“So what depends on me?”

“Well, if you love me, or think you could come to, that opens some paths I wouldn’t otherwise consider. You have as much right to decide what we do from here as I do. And you have some idea how this goes,” Cas reminded Sam.

“If I don’t, what happens?”

Castiel shrugged, though he was disappointed. “I would like to remain your friend, to continue as we have been. If you think that would be too awkward, then I’ll only come when it’s on Heaven’s behalf or you require divine assistance.”

Sam raised an eyebrow at that. “Thought you said going too long without seeing me bothered you.”

“It does.” Castiel looked quizzically at Sam. “But if I make you uncomfortable, then I will stay away.”

“Okay. And if I do? What happens next?” Sam asked.

“I don’t know," Castiel said. "That’s the part I’d be relying on you for. In the past, when angels formed romantic relationships, it was generally left to the human to guide the angel, since we have no past experience and few examples to follow. There were exceptions, but not many.”

“Well, we might be in trouble then,” Sam said with a bit of a smile. “I don’t have much experience either, and between Dad and Dean, I don’t exactly have much in the way of examples to work with. I mean, yeah, Dean's good at picking up girls for the night, but that's really not what we're discussing.”

“You have Jessica, at least,” Cas said.

“Yeah, well… can we not have this end with you on the ceiling burning because some demon wants me out on the road hunting?” Sam asked, but he was still smiling.

“That would certainly be my preference,” Cas agreed.

Sam’s smile grew until the dimples were out. “And the demon blood… you really don’t care?”

“Sam, did you ask Azazel to give you his blood?” Sam shook his head, face caught between confusion and what the fuck. “Then it would be wrong of me to hold that against you, to blame the victim. I barely notice the irritation anymore unless I’m looking for it. I really don’t care.”

“Okay. We have to tell Dean as soon as we’ve talked him down from Uriel’s lies, but I’m in. I would love to see where this goes.”

"Agreed." Castiel lowered himself to the ground beside Sam. "May I kiss you?"

Sam was about to answer when his phone rang. Sam looked at it in surprise, but answered it. "Dean?" He rolled his eyes as he listened. "I'm not far. You have the worst timing, though." He hung up. "Dean found a lead on the ghouls we're supposed to be hunting and figures demon backup is better than no backup. It's tempting to tell him to go fuck himself, but it's Dean. If he got hurt..."

"Of course. Shall I fly you there or would you prefer to walk?" Cas asked.

"Flying's good," Sam said with a smile. "That way I still have time for a kiss." Sam reached up, wrapping his hand around the back of Castiel's neck, and leaned forward to gently press his lips to Cas's.


	9. Demons and Ghouls and Archangels, Oh My

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam fights through ghouls, mistrust, and bad puns.

“Took you long enough,” Dean said when Cas brought Sam to the cave.

Sam rolled his eyes. “If I hadn’t been with Cas, you’d still be waiting. So shut it, because you had no way of knowing Cas was with me.”

“But Cas was there, so what was the holdup?” Dean asked.

“Okay, sure. Next time you call me in on some ghouls after dropping me off with just my usual gun somewhere, I’ll come straight here. Pistols are awesome at decapitation, I forgot.” Sam held up the machete he was carrying. “I had to go arm up first. Impala’s a mile away.”

“What, your demon powers can’t crush a ghoul’s head?” Dean asked.

Sam’s temper flared, and Cas reached out to calm him down. Sam’s hand clenched a little tighter around the machete. “Not that I know of, but probably, I guess. Except that I’m not using them! Unless it’s the only way to save your life, powers are offline! Thought that’s how you wanted it.”

Dean huffed. “Then why are you juicing again?”

“I’m not!” Sam shouted.

“Like you said about me remembering Hell: why the hell would Uriel lie to me about that?” Dean asked.

“Because Uriel dislikes Sam and shares Heaven’s fear of how much their chosen soldier trusts and relies on him,” Cas said before Sam could answer. “I’m only guessing that’s the reason, but I do know that Uriel doesn’t like how the two of you work together.”

Dean threw up his hands. “So you’re taking Sam’s side? The boy with the demon blood?”

“Don’t call me that,” Sam said. “Not you.”

“I’m taking the side of the truth,” Castiel said. “Sam isn’t lying about this. If he were, I would be taking action. Uriel is lying, and you seem to be taking Uriel’s side. Which surprises me.”

Dean didn’t seem to know what to say. Sam cleared his throat. “Look, can we do this after we’ve cleared the nest? Take out some of this anger on the ghouls?”

“Fine,” Dean said. “Cas, you coming?”

“I can’t. This isn’t…”

“Yeah, whatever,” Dean said with another eyeroll. “Come on then, Sam.”

Cas waited by the entrance, listening to the sounds of the battle within. There were a lot of shouts, including one particularly pained one from Dean, and several thumps of ghoul heads hitting the ground. The Winchesters came out covered in blood, and Dean was holding an arm tucked in close to his body. He walked up to Cas. “Is it broken?”

“It is not. Just a very bad bruise. You’ll live.”

“Yay. I’ll live.” Dean looked over to his brother. “Sammy?”

Sam took quick stock of himself. “Mostly fine. Nothing that would keep me out of a fight if something came at us right this second. You want me to drive?”

“I got it,” Dean said as they started walking to where Dean had parked the Impala. Cas kept a close eye on both boys in case they hadn’t mentioned an injury, but both appeared to be fine.

“So. We have a conversation to finish,” Sam said as he settled into the Impala. “You ready?” Cas had intended to fly back on his own, but if they were going to talk in the car, then he wanted to be there, so he settled into the back seat.

Dean got the car on the road. “Okay. Let’s start at the start. You told me you were coming clean, telling me everything, and you didn’t. Would’ve much rather heard about the blood than about you sleeping with Ruby, and it was a lot more relevant.”

“I stopped taking the demon blood when I stopped using my powers. Even with powers on for emergency use, I’m not going back to the blood, and I knew you’d be pissed. So I left it out,” Sam said.

Dean looked a little disturbed. “So you’re saying you might go back to sleeping with Ruby?”

“At the time, it was less ruled out than the blood,” Sam admitted. “Now, though, not a chance.”

“Yeah? Why’s that?” Dean asked.

Sam met Cas’s eyes in the rearview mirror. “It started because I was so broken without you. It was never… for a while, I could feel like I wasn’t alone. Never lasted long, but it was better than nothing. With you shutting me out, and especially after meeting Cas and Uriel, I couldn’t be sure I wouldn’t get to a point where I needed that again.” Sam stopped to shoot a quick apologetic look back at Cas. “Now, you’re letting me in again and Cas has decided that I’m not unredeemable filth, so I know I won’t.”

“Sam. I never thought…”

“Uriel does,” Sam interrupted. “You gave me a chance to prove him wrong, and I appreciate that.”

“Okay, so you lied because you knew I’d be pissed,” Dean said. “Can you see where I might think you’re doing it again?”

“Yeah, but bad as it was, I at least had a reason for drinking the blood before,” Sam said. “Now, I don’t. I’m not sneaking off anymore, you’d know if I were using my powers. I haven’t since Samhain. And honestly? It’s gross.”

Dean raised an eyebrow. “The blood, or your powers?”

“The blood,” Sam said. “The more I drank, the better it tasted. But it was really disgusting at first, and I don’t wanna go back to that.”

Dean made a face. “Okay, did not need to know what demon blood tastes like, Sammy.”

“Copper and sulfur and fire.”

“Just shut up.” Sam laughed, and Dean relaxed the tenseness in his shoulders a little. “There anything else you decided not to mention because I’d be pissed? Because better I hear it from you than from Uriel.”

Sam looked over his shoulder at Cas. “Remember those Zeppelin tapes that got stolen when I was fifteen? That was me. I sold them to get money for new shoes.”

Dean relaxed, chuckling at the admission. “You were such a little shit. I always wondered how you got those shoes.”

“Yeah. Sorry.” Sam grinned and looked back at Cas again. “There’s something else I need to tell you, but I haven’t been keeping it secret and I really hope you won’t be pissed about it.”

“Shoot.”

“There’s another good reason why sleeping with Ruby ever again is out of the question. I’ve moved on, found someone I can actually love and who loves me and I’m reasonably certain isn’t playing me to get Lilith dead, considering he believes it has to be you.”

“Yeah? Who… wait, he?” Dean looked in the mirror, catching Cas’s eyes. “He talking about you, Cas?”

“Yes.”

“And this happened…” Dean turned back to Sam.

“We were figuring out how this was gonna work when you called for backup with the ghouls. See, not keeping a secret.”

“Huh. Guess I like him better than Ruby. Okay.” Dean’s face lit up in a huge grin. “Oh man, this is gonna be fun, Paul.”

Sam blinked. He looked back at Cas, who had no idea. “Paul?”

“Yeah. Paul Winfield. He played an archangel on _Touched by an Angel_ ,” Dean explained.

It took Sam a minute to respond to that, as a million things ran across his face. “Okay, one, _you_ watched _Touched by an Angel_? And two, neither of us are archangels. I’m not anywhere near being an angel.”

Dean shrugged. “Watched a couple episodes with some girl I was trying to sleep with. Only remember because of the archangel’s name. Sam.”

“What?”

“The archangel. His name was Sam. Common enough name maybe but still, the idea of my little brother being an archangel…” Dean smirked. “And now you’re getting touched by an angel. So, you’re Paul.”

“Well, at least you’re not pissed,” Sam said, trying not to laugh.


	10. Doubts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Talking to Uriel and Anna raises serious questions for Castiel.

Castiel sat on a bench, watching the people scurry by. The Winchesters were catching some sleep after a successful hunt, so their angel had some time to watch his father’s creations while he waited. The fact that it was raining gently was part of the reason he’d chosen here.

“I don’t understand why you choose to subject yourself to this,” Uriel said as he appeared beside Castiel. “The hairless apes have the sense to come in out of the rain. An angel should, as well.”

Castiel sat up straighter. “You never were fond of Gabriel. Of course you don’t appreciate his presence.”

Uriel smirked. “Gabriel abandoned Heaven. Abandoned his duty. Why should I show him any respect?”

“Because he’s an archangel, and our superior,” Castiel said. “Although I question your distaste for him, given your love of pranks. What did you seek to gain by lying to Dean Winchester about his brother?”

“Is that why you asked me to meet you?” Uriel said, incredulous. “I was sent with a message. Orders from above, Castiel. Why should I question the content?”

“Why you?” Castiel asked. “Dean Winchester is my charge. I listen attentively for Heaven’s call when there are instructions.”

Uriel shrugged. “There are those among our superiors who are concerned about you, Castiel. You were sent to guide the Righteous Man, and yet it seems you allow yourself to be guided by the boy with the demon blood. Just how certain are you that he hasn’t found a way to mask the presence?”

“I’m certain,” Castiel said. “No power but grace can cleanse a soul. You’ve seen him. For a human, his soul is bright; for the abomination our superiors label him, the light within his soul should be burning him. It’s not.”

“Are you questioning our superiors, Castiel?”

“Something’s wrong,” Castiel said. “You must feel it. How can it be God’s will for us to condemn a good, faithful man because of something done to him as an infant?”

“He’s not a man, Castiel,” Uriel said. “And that’s why our superiors have asked me to assist you in your task. They feel you’ve become compromised. You’ve allowed yourself to get too close.”

Uriel left, and Castiel stared out through the rain. Had he allowed himself to get too close? There was no denying he’d gotten close to the Winchesters. Somehow, he suspected Heaven’s problem was specifically Sam. But that was Cas’s problem too, the cause of his doubts. Before he’d known Dean, he accepted Heaven’s assurances that the younger brother was unredeemable, that the only difference between him and a demon was time. Now he’d met Sam. And Sam was thoroughly, undeniably human. He had humanity’s capacity for sin and mistakes, but he also had humanity’s capacity for love, sacrifice, and faith. And with the free will, God’s most precious gift, he chose the latter far more often than the former. He wasn’t perfect, but Sam was a good man.

Fluttering wings drew his attention. Had Uriel come back? Castiel looked over, and was startled to see Anna. “What are you doing here?”

“I checked in on Heaven, and I am very confused about what’s going on up there,” Anna said. “Do you feel it?”

“Heaven’s not making as much sense as I’m used to,” Castiel admitted. “Still, it’s better than the alternative.”

“Is it?” Anna looked hard at Cas. “Cas. Is it really better to follow orders than to do the right thing?”

Cas sighed. “If not the will of Heaven, then what is the right thing? The will of God? Our last orders directly from God were to protect and serve his favorites. Humans. I’m doing that. Sam is a human, and Dean is stronger with Sam at his side. Dean’s supposed to be the one to save the world, so I don’t understand how weakening him by allowing his primary support system to fall away is helpful, or what’s intended.”

“The thinking was that if we could replace Dean’s reliance on his demon-blooded brother with reliance on Heaven, it would make him stronger in the long run,” Anna said softly. “Officially, you were chosen because of your extensive experience on Earth. Unofficially… I began planning my fall when Azazel claimed Sam. I told Zachariah to assign you when the time came because I believed Sam might be redeemable, and if he were, you of all angels would be the one to see that and let him try. I chose to fall, to join the humans, knowing the Apocalypse was coming… because I thought I would be needed down here. Cas, I fell to show you that it is possible to rebel without becoming Lucifer.”

Cas stared at Anna in disbelief. “I am nothing like you. I am loyal to God and to Heaven.”

“Which will you choose, if the conflict becomes obvious?” Anna asked.

Castiel didn’t answer. The thought of the two coming into conflict was so unthinkable. And yet… doubts had crept in. It wasn’t just Sam. The angels could be doing more to protect the seals, to track Lilith, to protect the humans they were given charge of. Most of the grunts, the soldiers Castiel served with, knew that. They didn’t question their superiors, though, trusting that they knew best. Now, though, Castiel couldn’t believe that. These weren’t God’s orders. It seemed odd to think that Michael would be giving orders that would set Lucifer free. The stories of the love Michael and Lucifer had for each other before the war were legends. If Lucifer were freed, Michael would have to kill him. He couldn’t believe that was Michael’s will. Which left the question: whose will was it?

“Keep that in mind,” Anna said after a while. “A choice is coming, Cas. You’ll have to live with yourself afterwards.” With that, she was gone, leaving Castiel alone and even more disturbed than before Anna had come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things I learned while fact-checking some things for this chapter:  
> In a Tarot deck, the Devil card is usually associated with Lucifer. For obvious reasons. When it's associated with a different archangel... it's Uriel.


	11. Chapter 11

Heaven hadn’t given up entirely on Castiel, it seemed. They called on him to send the Winchesters to save the Reapers. The mission was something of a disaster to the Winchesters – yes, they saved the seal, but at the cost of losing one of their friends. Pamela. Castiel felt very bad about that, not to mention having to reap the child.

Still, from Castiel’s perspective, the mission was a bigger success than he could have hoped for. The Winchesters saved the seal and the Reapers, and weakened Alastair enough that Castiel was able to capture him alive instead of killing him. This was very handy, as angels had started dying, and if any demon were going to find a way to kill angels, Alastair was certainly one of the best bets.

Then Zachariah told him to enlist Dean’s help in interrogating Alastair. Castiel went, with Uriel for backup. Dean was extremely reluctant to agree, and only after Castiel admitted that he was on thin ice with Heaven’s leadership.

As Cas closed the door between them and Alastair’s holding room, Sam came to him and reached for his hand. “Cas, are you sure we need Dean to do this? I mean… why would Alastair kill angels one at a time?” Sam said. “If he were going after you guys, wouldn’t he… y’know… go after you in force?”

“I know, but… who else could it be?” Cas asked. He wasn’t sure he wanted to know the answer.

Sam shook his head. “I don’t even know what can kill an angel.” He hesitated. “Cas, please don’t smite me for asking this, but… is it possible an angel’s gone rogue? When Lucifer rebelled the first time, there were quite a few who supported him. At least according to the stories that made it to human lore.”

At first, Castiel did want to smite something. Not Sam. Never Sam. Lucifer, maybe. But the more he considered it, the more sense it made. “A rogue angel. Recruiting for Lucifer, killing the ones who say no. But who would do that?”

“Who’s been targeted? Whoever it is, they’re probably going after friends first.”

“They’ve all been members of my garrison,” Castiel said. “The last one, Ruth, was a bit of a hermit, she preferred to work alone, but she did have a few friends. The only one I can think of who…” Everything fell into place. “The only one who would be going after my garrison and would have Ruth high enough on the list to have gone to her already is Uriel.”

“Real inconvenient, _Cas_ ,” Uriel said. He appeared, blade drawn, and smirked. “Give me a reason not to kill you.”

Castiel reached out, touching Sam and sending him to Dean. Hopefully, in time to stop Dean from crossing the line too far. “You are an angel. A messenger of God. How can this be his will? These orders, can’t you feel how wrong they are?”

“Castiel, you’ve always had too much heart,” Uriel said. “Too much interest in the mud monkeys.” He aimed a punch at Castiel, and Cas wasn’t fast enough to dodge. In a one-on-one fight, Castiel didn’t have much chance against Uriel, and Uriel had him pinned quickly. “God is gone. He doesn’t care. There is no word. No will. No God.” Each declaration punctuated with another fist.

“Maybe, maybe not,” said a voice behind Uriel. “But there’s still me.” Anna’s blade was through Uriel’s heart before Castiel had even really registered who it was. “Castiel, you know there’s something terribly wrong in Heaven. That Uriel killed seven before he was stopped… if our superiors cared, they would have stopped him. They didn’t.”

“I know. Anna, this is it, isn’t it? The choice you said was coming.”

Anna nodded. “I’m sorry, Cas. I know it’s hard. But it’s time.”

It was hard. And yet, at the same time, it was quite possibly the simplest decision Castiel had ever made. “I need to get the Winchesters. Come with us. We need to figure out our next step, and if you stand with us…”

Anna nodded, and Castiel blew the door apart. Sam had Dean held as far away from Alastair as he could, talking to him quietly. “Just wait for Cas to get in here, Dean. We can make the call then.”

“I’m here. What’s going on?” Cas asked.

“Sammy says Alastair didn’t do this and I don’t need to torture him. Can I kill him?” Dean asked. “Sam wouldn’t let me, not till you got here.”

“Take this, the Kurdish knife may not be enough,” Castiel said, handing Dean Uriel’s blade. “The only reason he’s not dead already is that Uriel was using him as a shield.” He led Sam and Anna out of the cell. “Sam, what if Uriel had killed me? The longer you waited, the more chance Alastair could have escaped.”

“Uriel wouldn’t have killed you,” Sam said. “I mean, he’d have tried. But you weren’t dying. Not today.”

“How can you be so sure?” Cas asked.

Sam just shrugged, but his voice was very certain. “Because. You weren’t.”

“I very nearly did, if Anna hadn’t come…”

“But she did. Thank you, Anna. How have you been?” Sam asked.

“I’ve been scared. Hiding. Waiting until something came up that gave me a fighting chance,” Anna said. “The time’s come.”

Dean came out, blade dripping blood. “That was incredibly satisfying, considering it was just me informing him I was going to kill him and stabbing him one time.”

“It’s Alastair dead without you stooping to his level,” Castiel said as Dean handed him back the blade. He looked at it for a moment, then over to Anna, who nodded. Castiel handed the blade back to Dean. “Keep it. You may need it.”

Anna pulled another one and handed it to Sam. “You too. Keep an eye out and don’t trust angels aside from me and Cas.”

“Cas?” Sam asked. “What’s happening?”

“Something’s wrong in Heaven. Anna believes, and I’m starting to see her point, that at least some of Heaven is deliberately sabotaging efforts to protect seals. What we don’t know is how high up this goes, or how widespread it is. You know I’ll protect you if I can, but there are many angels more powerful than me, and if they come at you in numbers or this goes as high as I fear…”

“Thanks, Cas.” Sam tucked the blade away. “How can we help?”

“Keep hunting, keep your eyes open for trouble both seal-related and demonic, and stay in contact. I’ll come by as often as I can, but I can’t be there all the time,” Castiel said.

Dean nodded. “Well. This year just keeps getting better and better, doesn’t it.”

“It could be a lot worse,” Castiel said. “At least now we know what’s happening, and can fight back against everything that needs to be fought.”


	12. Dreams of Heaven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel has an idea, but when he finds Sam asleep, he decides it can wait until morning while he hangs out in Sam's dreams.

For weeks, the Winchesters laid low, taking normal hunts while they waited to hear from Cas. The angel came by frequently, but rarely with news.

He popped in late one night. Sam was already asleep, but Dean was still awake, methodically working his way through cleaning their guns. “Hello.”

“Cas!” Dean only startled a little this time. “Hey, man. Was starting to worry about you. Need help, or just here to visit?”

“I’m sorry it’s been so long. A thought occurred to Anna, and she and I have been searching ever since. We believe we’ve found someone who can help us, but he’s warded from angels. He’s rather fond of you two, so I came to ask for help.”

Dean sighed. “Okay. I’ll get Sam up.”

“No.” Cas sat on the bed beside Sam. “You two get little enough sleep as it is, and he’s not going anywhere without Anna knowing it. This can wait until morning.”

“Fair enough. Please tell me you’re not gonna sit there staring at Sam like a creeper all night,” Dean said, starting to pack up the guns.

Castiel shook his head. “Of course not. I’m going to let him know I’m here and if he’ll allow me, lay beside him.”

“If you two wake me up in the morning with sex noises, there will be pain,” Dean threatened.

 

Sam had been dreaming of watching the stars from the hood of the Impala when Cas showed up. “Hey, you. Real or figment of my imagination?”

“Does a dream version of me actually identify himself as such?” Castiel asked.

“No. Usually he ignores the question. Good to see you.” Sam slid off the Impala and wrapped Cas up in a hug. “Do I get to wake up with you?”

“Yes, but not yet. In the morning.”

“Good. I love doing that.” Sam went back to the Impala, pulling Cas along with him. They lay on the hood, Sam curling up with his head on Castiel’s chest. The wind picked up, and a gentle, warm rain began to fall. Sam laughed. “Well, no more star watching tonight, I guess.”

“Somehow, I suspect there will be rain in your Heaven,” Castiel said. “At times, at least.”

“It wouldn’t surprise me,” Sam said. He snuggled in closer to Cas. “Will you be able to come visit me there?”

“That would be rather difficult.” Castiel looked down at Sam, and Sam tried to hide the disappointment. “I intend to be there whenever I’m not needed elsewhere. It would be like you visiting the Impala.”

That made Sam feel a lot better, except for one thing. “Not splitting time between me and Dean?” Sam asked.

“Sam.” Sam looked up. Cas had his exasperated face on. Sam didn’t understand why – Cas knew that it was important to him not to interfere with Dean’s friendship with Cas. “Do you truly think your Heaven would be complete without Dean?”

“Well, you said everyone gets their own… I mean, I assume there’ll be some version of Dean there, my happy memories include him a lot. But…” Sam trailed off for a moment, blinking back a tear. “Dean’ll be in his own Heaven.”

“What I said is usually true,” Castiel said. “But sometimes, there are special cases, where the memory of a loved one isn’t enough. You and Dean would recognize your memories of each other as false, and start looking for a way to get to each other. So the two of you will share your Heaven. You needn’t always be in the same memory, but you can be whenever you want. We call souls that are so closely bound soulmates.”

Sam scrunched up his face. “That’s a little disturbing, given how we use the word down here. Don’t tell Dean that, okay?”

“If that is your wish,” Castiel said. “Anyway, that is why I don’t feel the need to split time between your Heaven and Dean’s.”

“Good,” Sam said, lifting his head off Castiel’s chest to kiss his angel. They traded long, slow kisses back and forth for a while. Sam was the one to pull back. “Thank you, by the way.”

“For?” Castiel asked, looking confused.

“For saving me. For making it possible to believe that Heaven might actually be in my future. The road I was on before you saved Dean… might have gone back to if you hadn’t come, that day on the side of the road, and given me a reason to keep fighting… there’s no way that road ends with Heaven.”

Cas looked troubled. “You were considering it?”

“No, not really, but the pain I was in, fighting with Dean… leaving me hurting and alone is how I ended up there in the first place, and if Dean refused to believe me that I wasn’t back there, then it would’ve been all too easy to go back for real. If it had been Ruby who showed up instead of you…”

“Then I am very glad I answered your call,” Castiel said. “Dean’s the one the angels believe must stop Lilith, but I don’t believe he could do it without you. Can we go back to kissing now?”

Sam laughed, rolling on top of Castiel to answer him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know how to write pure fluff, apparently. But it's at least fluff-adjacent?


	13. Meet the Archangel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel fills the Winchesters in on his plan: Convince Gabriel to help. They give it their best shot.

Dean was already awake when Sam woke up, Cas in his arms. “Finally. Cas has a job for us,” Dean said.

Sam raised an eyebrow at Cas. “You couldn’t have said something during the night?”

“I could have. A few hours didn’t make much difference,” Cas said. He zoned out a bit. “Anna’s still with him. We can go as soon as you’re ready.”

“Care to tell us what we’re going into?” Dean said as Sam got up and started to get dressed. “Or are we just winging it when we get there?”

“Anna discovered where Gabriel has been hiding,” Castiel said. “We’re going to ask him for help.”

“Gabriel? Like, the archangel Gabriel?” Sam said, pausing in getting his arm through the sleeve on his flannel. “I thought we were trying to avoid angels other than you and Anna.”

“We are, generally, but Gabriel is different. For one thing, whatever’s happening up in Heaven, Gabriel is unaware or at least uninvolved in,” Castiel said.

“How can you be so sure?” Dean asked.

“His last act for Heaven was announcing the birth of Jesus. After that, Gabriel disappeared. He’s been living on Earth for the past two thousand years, avoiding contact with anything to do with Heaven as much as possible. Since Earth is his home now, Anna and I believe that he’ll find it in his best interests to protect it. And an archangel would certainly have the power to find and stop Lilith.”

“Wow. Gabriel.” Sam, now fully dressed and packed, plopped back down on the bed. “What’s he like? He’s the messenger, and he seemed pretty cool in the Bible stories about him, although kind of arrogant. But I guess that goes with the territory of being an archangel. Still, what he did to Zacharias was kind of messed up…”

“Sam.” Dean’s voice cut Sam off. “You’re babbling again.”

“Oh. Sorry, Cas.”

“Gabriel was known throughout Heaven for being the peacemaker, the one stuck in the middle. Of all angels, only Michael was closer to Lucifer, and he tried to act as a neutral party in the war, to bring Lucifer back from his rebellion and reunite him with his father and brother,” Castiel said. “When he failed, when he was forced to choose a side, something in Gabriel broke and never repaired properly. He blamed Lucifer, of course, for rebelling, but he also blamed God and Michael for not even trying to make things right before declaring Lucifer the enemy of Heaven. His discontent grew with every passing year, and finally, he left.”

“But you knew where he went,” Sam said. “Norway.”

“What was Gabriel doing in Norway?” Dean asked.

“Getting Cas in trouble, for one thing,” Sam said, and Castiel shot him a warning glare. “Okay, shutting up.”

“Hiding from Heaven by taking on the identity of a pagan god,” Castiel said. “Loki.”

Sam burst out laughing. “Wow. So when you said he and Thor were friends of a sort…”

“So why’s Gabriel so fond of me and Sam?” Dean asked. “Far as I know, we’ve never met the guy.”

“You have,” Castiel said. “Twice now. He rather enjoys tormenting the two of you, which is his backwards way of showing his affection.”

“Loki. The Trickster,” Sam said. “That asshole who killed you over and over again. That’s Gabriel?”

“Yes.” Castiel put a hand on Sam’s shoulder. “He would probably take it as a compliment if you hit him in the face, but you’d hurt yourself and I couldn’t heal it. So please don’t.”

“Fine,” Sam said, though he wasn’t entirely sure he could keep that promise. “Okay, so we’re going to try to get one of the few things on this planet who I actively want to hunt down and kill to help us with one of the other things on this planet I actively want to hunt down and kill. How do we get him to go for it?”

 

“We sure this is going to work?” Dean said as he and Sam prepared to enter the building Gabriel was currently using as his home base. 

Sam shrugged. “No. But if we can’t convince him to throw out the plan and join Team Free Will, then we can at least be reasonably sure he won’t kill you. Permanently, anyway. Since the big plan involves you.”

“And what about you? I don’t want to do this if you’re not gonna be safe, too,” Dean said.

“It’s you he’s shown a tendency toward killing. Me, he just likes to put through my own personal hell. I can deal with his crap. Let’s just go get this over with.” Sam took off toward the building.

As soon as they stepped in, they found themselves surrounded by violent colors, peanuts, gumdrops, and peppermint sticks. “Dude. Are we in Candy Land?” Dean said.

“Probably. Don’t eat anything.” Sam was, of course, too late as Dean popped a gumdrop into his mouth. Dean responded to Sam’s bitchface with an unapologetic shrug.

“Sam! Dean!” Gabriel popped into Candy Land, dressed like a cartoon king. With candy instead of jewels. “You like it?”

“You knew we were coming?” Sam asked.

“Should’ve, but no, I didn’t know it would be you two chuckleheads,” Gabriel said. “If I’d thought about it a little more, I’d have realized that of course Anna would latch on to you two trouble magnets and get you to come in here, and set up a more appropriate decorating scheme. What’s she want now?”

“Do you know what’s going on out there?” Dean said. “What your asshole brothers are setting up?”

“Yep. Course I do. Not much I can do about it, Dad set this up a long, looong time ago and there’s not really a way to stop it now. Sorry, boys, but if you came here to get me to wrangle my brothers for you, I learned a long time ago that I can’t.”

“Your brothers can go to Hell for all we care,” Sam said. “You too, for that matter. But if we can stop Lilith from breaking the seals…”

Gabriel paused in plucking candy from his crown and popping them into his mouth. “Wait a minute. What’s today?”

“Thursday, why?” Dean said.

“You two should’ve been here two days ago. But I meant the date. Sam, shouldn’t you be high as a kite by now? Hopped up on rage and demon blood?” Gabriel came closer to Sam. “There’s hardly any demon at all in you.”

“Kicked the habit,” Sam said. “I take it that was part of the big plan, then? My demon blood thing?”

“Yeah, you’re gonna need it when Lucy comes topside, he’ll burn you to shreds if you’re not strong enough. Your body’ll be fine, it was specifically designed for him, but your mind… well, Lucifer wouldn’t miss that a bit. Find some demons, get drinking, kiddo.”

“What do you mean, my body was designed for Lucifer? What’s he going to do to me?” Sam asked.

“You’re his vessel. What, the angels haven’t told you? The Apocalypse is a prize fight, boys, with Earth as the Octagon. My bros need vessels, and you two are it. What did Heaven tell you they needed you for, Deano?”

“They told me that I have to be the one to stop Lilith, the only one who can prevent the Apocalypse,” Dean said, but his voice shook a little. “So if Sam’s Lucifer…”

“You’re Michael. Got it in one. And they are going to be trying to kill each other.”

“But they’re angels,” Sam said. “They can intend whatever they want, but they still have to get us to say yes to being possessed. And if I know that saying yes means that Dean either dies or has to kill me, and Dean knows the same thing, why would we? Either of us?”

“So that it’ll be over,” Gabriel said. “Once Lucifer rises, he’s gonna lay waste to the Earth. Haven’t you read my book about it?”

“Your book?” Sam asked. “You wrote a book?”

“The Book of Revelation. There’s a lot of symbolism and translation, I couldn’t be too direct or Heaven would have destroyed it and me with it, but that’s what’s gonna happen when Lilith dies to raise Lucifer.” Gabriel smirked. “Don’t tell me you’re one of those who thought John had a bad acid trip.”

“No, not… wait, Lilith dying will raise Lucifer?” Sam said.

It caught Gabriel off balance. “The angels didn’t tell you that, either? What _did_ Anna tell you about this thing?”

“Anna, not a whole lot, she’d fallen and only reclaimed her grace a few months ago,” Dean said. “Cas is the one who’s been telling us what’s going on.”

“Cas?”

“Castiel? He said he knew you, used to visit you in Norway,” Sam said.

“Right, well, Castiel’s not the only angel with a name that can be shortened to Cas,” Gabriel said. “Little Cassie. Wow. Wouldn’t have figured him for one to go along with all this lying to you. Lilith’s the last seal. You kill her, Lucifer rises. You don’t kill her, she’ll kill herself, Lucifer rises. You can’t stop it. Dean, the angels just want you close and trusting them so you’ll say yes to Michael.”

“But if she’s the last seal, what happens if we kill her early? Ahead of schedule?” Sam asked.

“You can’t,” Gabriel said. “Boys, this one’s way beyond your pay grade.”

“Tell us something we don’t know,” Dean said. “Not beyond yours, though. You really want to watch your brothers fight to the death?”

“No! Of course not. I just want this all to be _over_ ,” Gabriel said.

“Then help us,” Sam said. “Take out Lilith. Stop Lucifer from rising. Pick a side this time. Cas said you like humans better than angels. That Earth is your home. So tell your brothers – both of them – to stay the hell out of it unless you invite them.”

“I can’t. Goodbye, boys.” Gabriel snapped his fingers, and the Winchesters found themselves outside the building. When they opened the door, it was empty inside.


	14. Lies and the Liars Who Tell Them

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone's lying. That much is obvious. And to Sam's dismay, he's finding it easier to believe Gabriel than to believe Castiel. It's not what he wants. He wants to think that Castiel wouldn't lie to him, not now. But Gabriel just makes too much sense to dismiss.

Cas and Anna came over, eager for information. “What did he say? Will he help us?” Anna asked.

“No.” Sam walked off, thinking through everything Gabriel had said. The more he thought, the less sense it made. It wasn’t that he thought Gabriel had lied to them. Gabriel had been playing Trickster for two thousand years, of course he’d lie. Sam was confused because he believed Gabriel was telling the truth.

In order for Gabriel to be telling the truth, then Castiel had to have lied to him and Dean all along. Sam didn’t want to believe that. He wanted to believe that there was some kind of horrible misunderstanding, because otherwise…

Castiel’s hand on his arm caused Sam to jump and pull away. “Cas! You startled me.”

“I apologize. We need to regroup, figure out where to go from here,” Castiel said, reaching for Sam’s hand. When Sam pulled it away, Castiel frowned at him. “What’s wrong?”

“Cas… Gabriel said a lot of things in there. And if it’s true…” Sam cut off. He tried to figure out how to explain. “I have a lot of questions right now, and I just… I need to know how much of this all has been a lie.”

“A lie?” Castiel’s frown deepened. “Sam, what are you talking about?”

Well, Castiel was doing well at acting confused, at least. “Come on, Dean and Anna should hear this, too.” He walked back toward the others, Castiel right beside him.

“We doing this here?” Dean asked when they got back.

Sam dropped his head. “Do you have a better place? At the risk of sounding like Gabriel, I want to get this over. I hate feeling like this.”

“Feeling like what?” Anna asked.

“Like we’ve been lied to and jerked around by people we trusted,” Dean said before Sam could say anything. “Especially bad with Sammy and Cas, but I’m not happy about it either.”

Anna looked to Castiel, who shrugged. “I don’t know. I haven’t lied to them in a very long time. Not since Uriel and I were sent to kill you.”

“Okay. Let’s find a place to start.” Sam and Dean held a quick nonverbal conversation before Dean continued, “Gabriel was expecting Sam to be high on demon blood.”

“It was the quickest way to become strong enough to kill Lilith, and the one he was shown by Ruby,” Castiel said. “If we had not intervened, Sam would be high on demon blood.”

“Right.” Sam bit his lip. “But there was more to it, according to Gabriel. I don’t know what Ruby was after. But it sounded like the demon blood wasn’t about killing Lilith. It was about something else.”

“Like what?” Castiel said. “I don’t know what other use there could be.”

“I do,” Anna said. “Cas, you know that there’s a lot of stuff that doesn’t make sense about Heaven’s orders. It’s why you’re here.”

“Yes. I don’t understand, Anna,” Castiel said. Sam’s heart lightened a little. Maybe Castiel genuinely hadn’t known about Lilith.

“If Lucifer rises, Heaven needs a backup plan,” Anna said. “You know the fight will happen on Earth, don’t you?”

“Of course. Lucifer cannot enter Heaven, and Michael would not enter Hell,” Castiel said.

“So Michael and Lucifer will need vessels,” Anna continued.

“Obviously.” Castiel frowned, looking at Anna, until his eyes went wide. “Sam is Lucifer’s vessel?”

Anna nodded. “By weakening Sam, you’ve made Michael’s victory more likely.”

Castiel stepped close to Anna. “Why wasn’t I told this? I should have known. Why would Heaven send me to do a job with incomplete information?”

The wave of relief that coursed through Sam nearly caused him to fall. That, at least, Castiel hadn’t known. So maybe he didn’t know the other part. “There’s more, Cas.”

“Well, I assume that if you’re Lucifer’s vessel, then Dean must be Michael’s,” Castiel said. “It seems a bit ironic that Michael’s vessel is the one who can destroy Lilith, but I suppose it makes a certain amount of sense. And knowing what he’s fighting for, Dean will fight harder to kill Lilith.”

“I’m not gonna kill Lilith unless we can do it soon,” Dean said.

Anna and Cas both looked at Dean in surprise. “Why not? I thought you’d want to stop her from breaking the seals!” Anna said.

“This is the more I was talking about,” Sam said. “Lilith’s not going to break the final seal. She is the final seal. If we can’t kill her before she gets sixty-five, then killing her brings Lucifer up.”

“What?” Anna said, looking to Dean. “Is he serious?”

“That’s what Gabe said.” Dean shrugged, moving closer to Sam. “Given that he wasn’t lyin’ about us being the vessels for the big showdown, I’m finding him to be a pretty damn credible source.”

“I don’t understand,” Castiel said. “If Lilith is the final seal, why haven’t the angels taken her out? Why won’t Gabriel?”

“Oh, Gabriel will,” Gabriel said, appearing behind them. “I just wanted to know exactly what was going on here. No offense, Anna, but you were pretty deep in Heaven’s planning sessions, you knew too much of what was going on for me to believe you weren’t setting the boys up for Michael to have an easy victory. Castiel, on the other hand…” Gabriel shook his head with a huge grin. “I had to know what he knew about the plan. Seems like he didn’t know crap.”

“Apparently I didn’t,” Castiel said. “What’s Heaven’s game?”

“You’ve been there way more recently than me, bro,” Gabriel said. “Raph got bored? Mike’s finally lost his mind? Dad came home? Dad didn’t come home and one of those idiots thinks that throwing an apocalyptic temper tantrum will bring him back? I don’t know, and frankly, I don’t give a damn what their problem is. But as the Samsquatch there told me… this is my home they’re gonna trash for their little cry for attention. So screw ‘em all. Who’s hungry for some Kentucky fried demon?”


	15. Showdown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel deals with Lilith and his brothers. Apocalypse averted, Castiel has to figure out what to do next.

Gabriel, apparently, was lethal when he was seriously pissed off. Smiting Lilith was nothing to him. “Get down here, brothers!” he shouted at the sky as he stood over the corpse.

Raphael came quickly. “Gabriel. It’s been far too long.”

“Where’s Michael?” Gabriel asked.

Raphael shot a glance at Dean. “His vessel is proving obstinate.”

“Oh, for… so he’s here? He can hear me?” Gabriel said. The room shook around him, and Sam and Dean slapped their hands over their ears. “Good to see you too, asshole.”

“Why did you call us down? You’ve been hidden for so long, why come out now?” Raphael said.

“Take a look.” Gabriel kicked Lilith’s body. “Now, you listen, and you listen good. I don’t care who started it, I don’t care why, and I really don’t care what the hell you two were thinking. Dad’s gone. But he left us some pretty clear instructions.”

“Yes. When the time came…” Raphael interrupted.

Gabriel rolled his eyes. “So not what I meant. I meant actual instructions, delivered directly to the three of us, not written down by his pal Metatron and stolen by me to put into some poor bastard’s head. Dad told us to look out for the humans, to serve and protect them. You and me, we heard it straight from God’s mouth. I’m pretty sure tearing apart their world to settle a score with Lucy is going against that.”

The room shook again. “Michael, I don’t care. If Lucifer were here, I’d rip him a new one too. Luckily, he’s still locked away. You guys have your little pissing match, rip Heaven and Hell apart for all I care. Earth is my home now, because I’m still doing the job Dad told us to do!”

“You kill humans for your own amusement,” Raphael said. “How is that protecting them?”

“The ones I kill either deserve it or get brought right back,” Gabriel said. “Bit of a difference from you guys ripping the world apart because Mike couldn’t kill his little bro the first time around and has decided that now he can finish the job.” Once again, the room rumbled. “Still don’t care. I can’t make you guys get over it and make up, and I don’t want to know what being locked away without you’s done to Lucy. But I can tell you this. You come into my home and start breaking Dad’s favorite toys, I will make you regret it.”

“If Dad comes back…” Raphael said.

“Then he can lock me away too if he’d rather see humans turned into sheep for Heaven or made into Hell’s bitches,” Gabriel snapped. “This isn’t about doing Dad’s will, this is about you two and your unfinished business or boredom with the job. Call off your goons. Keep your angels off Earth. It’s under my protection and I will kill anyone I find down here messing with my home. Now get out.”

Raphael disappeared, and Michael went with him. Castiel motioned to Sam and Dean that it was safe for them to uncover their ears. “Gabriel…”

Gabriel grinned, letting the archangel fade entirely back into the Trickster. “Come on, bro, you think I’d kick you out? You’re the only angel I know who likes humans more than I do. Anna, you can stay too.”

Sam looked at Cas. “Can I punch him now?”

“You’ll only break your hand,” Gabriel said. “But sure, go ahead.”

Cas reached out and held Sam’s hands. “I should probably report in. Michael will be furious, and he’ll probably take it out on me. I don’t know if I’ll be allowed to come back, even with Gabriel’s permission. But it’ll be worse if I don’t go back voluntarily.”

“How? He’s not exactly gonna send angels after you if you stay here,” Anna said. “Can’t really do much to us.”

Castiel sighed. “No, but eventually, I will want to go back. With Sam and Dean. The longer I wait, the more Michael will fight allowing me to return. It’s different with you, you want to stay here forever, don’t you?”

Sam pulled Castiel into a hug. “I… I never really expected this was happily ever after, Cas. I figured it would be me breaking something somehow, but if this is it… then I’m glad we had it. I’m going to miss you, won’t even pretend it’ll take me a long time, probably forever, to get over you. But there are more important things than me.”

Something inside Castiel hardened, and when Dean met his eyes, he knew what to do. He didn’t need Dean’s unspoken plea or warning. “No, Sam. There aren’t. You and Dean are the most important things, and if Michael disagrees, then he should have been more specific with his orders. My orders are to watch over Dean and prepare him for his role in averting the Apocalypse, or in fulfilling it if we fail to prevent it. So long as you and Dean are alive, Michael and Lucifer have true vessels waiting for them on Earth, there’s nothing stopping them from finding another way to lure Dean into Hell, to spill blood there, and start this process all over again.”

Anna grinned at him. “And if Michael doesn’t accept that, when you try to go back with your boys?”

“Then I’ll have the clear conscience of having fought for what mattered and done as I felt right. I’m staying on Earth, as long as I have a reason to be here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, um, this story kind of got away from me a little. Hope y'all don't mind. Haven't decided yet whether I'm going to do a tag chapter or just leave it here.
> 
> Thanks to everyone who read, especially those who commented!


	16. Confirmation

The Winchesters decided that averting an Apocalypse was worth some vacation time. Castiel couldn't see much difference between a Winchester vacation and a Winchester job hunt - both involved a lot of driving, bars, games of chance, and bickering over food. Vacation did seem to involve more stops. The loud event Dean called a concert was not Castiel's idea of a good time, but Dean loved it and Sam had fun. The day on the beach was much more to Cas's liking. At first, Dean had offered to get his own room when they stopped to sleep, but Sam had said it wasn't necessary. Dean never minded them cuddling or kissing around him, and if they were going to go any farther than that, Cas could take them somewhere private. It worked.

Three weeks after the showdown between the Archangels, Castiel felt himself called home. He tried to ignore it, but he warned the Winchesters he might not have a choice. It wasn't long before that proved true, and he found himself in front of Michael.

"Hello, Michael. Where's Raphael?"

"Sulking. He disagrees with what I plan to do. I'm still in charge, so he won't interfere, but he doesn't have to be here." A moment later, Anna appeared as well. "Good. You're both here. Explain."

"Explain what? Gabriel's not complaining about us, because he said we could stay as long as we don't cause trouble." Anna crossed her arms and glared at Michael.

"Explain why you choose to stay instead of returning to Heaven."

Anna shrugged. "My reasons for leaving Heaven are still valid. If I have to, I'll choose to fall again rather than resubmit to you."

Michael nodded and looked to Castiel. "My orders are to protect and guide Dean Winchester. Since the Apocalypse hasn't happened, my mission is not yet complete. However, if you change my orders, I still intend to remain on Earth with the Winchesters as much as possible. They are as much my family as the one up here."

"But you intend to come home when the Winchesters are here?"

"Yes. If you will allow it, of course."

Michael nodded. "Anna, go on back. Unless you choose to fall, I may call on you if Heaven's need is great, but you made your choice to leave." Anna left, and Michael focused on Castiel. "Raphael would have me give you to Naomi, reeducate you. Again. We've tried that, though. Over and over, we've tried. And we can't fix you."

"I don't understand. What's wrong with me?"

"You have too much heart. You care too much. Until recently, I thought that was a flaw, a failure in your design. Now I think that Dad made you that way on purpose, a failsafe for when we forgot ourselves. Gabriel was right. Our job is to protect humans, to look after Dad's favorites. We're not supposed to play favorites among the humans, but if you hadn't gotten so close to the Winchesters, their world would be much worse off now and I'd be fighting Lucifer. Who knows what else might come of this? If I call you with orders, you answer. Otherwise, follow your standing orders. I am changing that, though. Since you're already doing it, may as well make it the Winchesters, instead of just Dean. Now get back to work."

"Thank you."

Castiel found the Winchesters in the same room, but now, they were arguing. "He can find us when he gets back. We need to leave now if we're gonna make Amarillo by morning," Dean argued.

"Amarillo can wait. A day isn't going to make much difference in the ghost's body count."

"You're both right, but I'm back. For good. Or close enough. A ghost in Amarillo? Let's go."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoops. Hadn't meant to go quite *this* long without writing a better ending.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are delicious cookies that feed my writing addiction.


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